saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
