Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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