its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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