I just made out with a guy for $7.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
