Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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