I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
