I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize