My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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