I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
