Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
