"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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