Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?

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  (586): dear santa what can i do with your candy cane? http://tfl.nu/evo0
  Replies (2) Good night (1276) Bad night (642)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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  (317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp
  Replies (21) Good night (3821) Bad night (1005)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.

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  (561): Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons. http://tfl.nu/mi7s
  Replies (12) Good night (5884) Bad night (703)
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  (516): View more from New York

  That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.

  (1-516): View more from New York

  yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.

  (516): View more from New York

  Do you have to put it that way?

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  (516): That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him. (1-516): yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him. (516): Do you have to put it that way? http://tfl.nu/hbgy
  Replies (21) Good night (6369) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.

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  (312): If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops. http://tfl.nu/hm3g
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (2529)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

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  (469): Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right? http://tfl.nu/axfy
  Replies (9) Good night (1044) Bad night (2950)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"

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  (501): I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d" http://tfl.nu/qasx
  Replies (7) Good night (3046) Bad night (803)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?

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  (717): sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that? http://tfl.nu/vb27
  Replies (34) Good night (797) Bad night (2824)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420

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  (305): I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420 http://tfl.nu/8erj
  Replies (4) Good night (1387) Bad night (1123)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

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  (815): I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today? http://tfl.nu/jgbm
  Replies (10) Good night (831) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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  (612): Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/wabc
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.

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  (602): They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't. http://tfl.nu/kn7x
  Replies (2) Good night (1187) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.

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  (804): You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/xqs5
  Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.

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  (423): He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him. http://tfl.nu/spuu
  Replies (5) Good night (1053) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  My dick has a subreddit

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  (630): My dick has a subreddit http://tfl.nu/u9zr
  Replies (1) Good night (447) Bad night (215)

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