Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter. http://tfl.nu/mtsq
  Replies (9) Good night (2854) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  New channing tatum movie.

  (858): View more from California

  I'll bring my vibrator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): New channing tatum movie. (858): I'll bring my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/ing8
  Replies (26) Good night (6383) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeeah thank god

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant... (1-816): Yeeah thank god (816): Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million. http://tfl.nu/pevw
  Replies (54) Good night (2112) Bad night (15533)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious http://tfl.nu/eea3
  Replies (19) Good night (3382) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes http://tfl.nu/2sgp
  Replies (14) Good night (4562) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  cat food counts as protein by the way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): cat food counts as protein by the way http://tfl.nu/k5gc
  Replies (13) Good night (1628) Bad night (4188)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice http://tfl.nu/hzcq
  Replies (10) Good night (6133) Bad night (1714)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you! http://tfl.nu/45j7
  Replies (7) Good night (3519) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059
  Replies (8) Good night (1329) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up http://tfl.nu/xh5q
  Replies (18) Good night (1079) Bad night (2682)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (602) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed. http://tfl.nu/6rp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2589) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it... http://tfl.nu/upfp
  Replies (14) Good night (1754) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity http://tfl.nu/984f
  Replies (4) Good night (412) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We're like Lewis and Clark

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight (202): We're like Lewis and Clark http://tfl.nu/83ys
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (187)

Randomize