i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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