I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
