All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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