i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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