i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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