i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize