All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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