This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
