Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
