Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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