it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
