I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
