Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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