She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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