Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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