Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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