But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
