Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
