Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
