i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
