I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize