Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
