is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
