I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
