I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize