My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
