I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
