Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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