I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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