This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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