Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
