We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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