in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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