I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
