he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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