I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
