we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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