the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
