her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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