can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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