well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
my poor anus
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
