You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
