I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
