just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
