I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
