So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
