a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
