So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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