i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
