Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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