I hate your face
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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