His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
