I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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