She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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